Japan Times--August 15, 1993

NOTE: I'm pretty sure this is an urban legend at this point. Oh well.

``The government must crack down on this disgusting craze of `Pumping','' a spokesman for the Nakhon Ratchasima hospital told reporters. ``If this perversion catches on, it will destroy the cream of Thailand's manhood.''

He was speaking after the remains of 13 year-old Charnchai Puanmuangpak had been brought into the hospital's emergency department. ``Most Pumpers use a standard bicycle pump,'' he explained, ``sticking the nozzzle up their rectum and giving themselves a rush of air. Not only is that a sin against God, but it can be dangerous even for onlookers. Charnchai took it further still. He started using a two-cylinder foot pump, but even that wasn't exciting enough for him, and he boasted to friends that he was going to try the compressed air hose at a nearby gasoline station. They dared him to do it so, under cover of darkness, he sneaked in. Not realising how powerful the machine was, he inserted the tube into his body, and placed a 1 baht coin in the slot. Of course, he died instantly, but passers by are still in shock. One woman though she was watching a twilight firework display and started clapping. We still haven't located all of him.

``Pumping is the devil's pastime, and we must all say no to satan,'' he concluded. ``Inflate your tyres by all means, but then hide your bicycle pump where it cannot tempt you.''

WoS Edited and converted to HTML by Dan Bornstein.