Date: Fri, 22 May 92 4:30:4 EDT From: walrus@bessel.umd.edu (Grig Larson) Subject: More Phone Jokes Based on the message on how to deal with stockbrokers who try to sell you their garbage by calling you right before lunch break, here is a similar story based on one very boring afternoon at home with a Long-Distance Company . RING RING RING Me: Hello? SM: Hello, I am Gern Blanston representing the Flint Long Distance company. How are you today, sir? Me: Fine. SM: May I ask you what type of long distance company you are using? Me: Duuuh... I duuno.... SM: You don't know? Well how would you like to be hooked up with the best sattelite phone network of the 80's? We use- Me: Duh, sure. Can I call my friend from, uh, far away? SM: Er, yes. Our long distance service uses the best- Me: He lives in Pango Pango... SM: Yes, I see. Well you can call your fried overseas at a rate you'll- Me: He has a lizard you know... his name is Ralph. SM: I see, well you can- Me: Ralph the lizard. He is green and sits in a tree. SM: Well- Me: A palm tree... with lots of, uh... leaves. SM: Well, you will save money by using our new optical- Me: Save money? Really? SM: Of course! And if you- Me: Well, how much is it per yard? SM: Pardon me? Me: How much is it per yard. Pango Pango is pretty far away from here... SM: Well, I never really thought about it that way, but I can assure you- Me: Will you have to drill a hole in my roof? SM: Ah, no. You see, it works like this- Me: 'Cause my friend Tom got one of them black dishes that you put on your roof... and then he fell off and hurt himself real bad... SM: Well, we don't actually come to your house- Me: Crushed his wife's poodle. Flattened him right out, he did... SM: If you could give me a minute to explain the proceess- Me: Did I tell you I had a friend in Pango Pango? I kept doing this act for about 20 minutes before the guy just finnaly gave me his number to call him back. That salesman hung on like a pit bull! I guess he must have thought I was so stupid, he would eventually sell me something.