Darrell the banjo picker's canonical list of Banjo Jokes...

• How many banjo players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Five; one to screw it in and four to
  • complain that it's electric.
  • lament about how much they miss the old one.
  • stand around and watch.

• What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)...
  • onion?
    No one cries when you cut up a banjo.
  • uzzie?
    An uzzie only repeats forty times.
  • chain saw?
    • A chain saw has a dynamic range. ...and/or...
    • You can turn a chainsaw off.
  • Harley Davidson motorcycle?
    You can tune a Harley.
  • trampoline?
    You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

• Playing the banjo is a lot like throwing a javelin blindfolded: you don't have to be very good to get people's attention.

• What do you say to the banjo player in the three piece suit?
  ``Will the defendant please rise.''

• What do you get when you throw a banjo and an accordion off the Empire State Building?
  Who cares?

• What do you call twenty-five banjos up to their necks in sand?
  Not enough sand.

• What do you call one-hundred banjos at the bottom of the ocean?
  A good start.

• What did the banjo player get on his IQ (or SAT) test?
  Drool.

• Why do some people take an instant aversion to banjo players?
  It saves time in the long run.

• What will you never say about a banjo player?
  That's the banjo player's porsche.

• Banjo players are a lot like sharks: they think they have to keep playing or they will sink.

• How can you tell the difference between all the banjo songs?
  By their names. (originally, ``Irish fiddle tunes'')

• The sixth fret on a banjo is a lot like the thirteenth floor on a building: you don't really need one.

• Does this kinder, gentler era have room for another generation of obnoxious banjo pickers telling dumb jokes and playing fast?
  (zombiegrass--picture a banjo picker standing straight faced under a large cowboy hat...)