|one small bottle||unflavored soda water with a haughty Italian name (e.g., "Pelegrino")|
|1 or 2 shots||flavored syrup with a snooty Italian name (e.g., "Torani")|
Take some ice and stick it in an appropriate sized cup, depending on your appetite. Fill the cup most of the way with the haughty water. Pour in enough snooty syrup to cover up the slightly bitter aftertaste of aforementioned water. Pour more in. Hopefully there's enough space at the top to pour in the half-and-half. If you want to get fancy, pour the half-and-half over the back side of a spoon so as to not let it mix with the rest of the concoction.
Recipe by Dan Bornstein, email@example.com, http://www.milk.com/home/danfuzz/.
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