If, My Dear

If you and I were motorcars,
   Out going on a ride,
There'd be no need for iron bars
   To keep you at my side.

We'd ride around with nameless thugs
   Who swear and cheat at pool;
I wouldn't have to give you drugs
   To keep you calm and cool.

If you and I were sparkling snow
   At rest upon a fir,
I wouldn't have to beat you so
   To make you call me sir.

You see, my dear, if we were snow,
   With snowflakes built like lace,
In public places you could go
   With no bag on your face.

If we were bullets in a gun
   That shot at helpless geese,
I wouldn't always have to run
   With you from police.

If bullets we went sailing through
   The heads of evil slime,
I wouldn't have to hold you
   Underwater all the time.

I'm glad, my dear, as you well know,
   I'm none of these nor you.
Someday perhaps I'll let you go,
   And you'll be happy too.