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Milk Experiment #34: A Restraining Order Against Milk

From: Jop...@a...
To: danfuzz@milk.com
Subject: (no subject)
Date: Sat, 21 Apr 2001 22:33:09 EDT

Is It true that milk is bad for you?


From: Dan Bornstein <danfuzz@milk.com>
Date: Sat, 21 Apr 2001 21:30:12 -0700 (PDT)
To: Jop...@a...
Subject: Re: (no subject)

>Is It true that milk is bad for you?

Yes; how did you find that out? Milk is indeed very bad for me, but that's
only because I was bad to milk when I was little. I have since apologized
to milk, but it didn't do any good. Now milk has a vendetta just for me. I
get threatening phone calls from milk nearly every day. I've started the
process of getting a restraining order against milk, but the authorities
don't seem to think that beverages are capable of making phone calls, and
worse. I live in constant fear that some day, somehow, milk will finally
get me, and it will all be over.

Let this be a lesson to you: Do not taunt milk. Treat it with respect,
for it has a long memory, and it is not quick to forgive.

Take care,

-dan